“I Wanted to Write You A Letter Because I Got Bored” by Taylor

Below is an exact transcription of a letter from a 10-year-old named Taylor, which she recently sent to her older sister. 
Dear Katy,

Hi! I wanted to write you a letter because I got bored. BoyCat is gone, so I’m assuming he’s dead and the cat at the other apartment is eating his food. Or he ran away. But I’m hoping he’s dead so he didn’t leave us willingly. Because if he ran away he would be the most ungrateful cat ever, cause we bought him the cat food with the tender middles, and that stuff is pretty darn expensive. It makes me sad that I will never ever never see him again, but I’m happy that for the first 2 years of his life he was loved very much. I would’ve played with him if he ever showed up, but he didn’t, so now I want a bird. The type of bird I want is an African Grey Parrot, cause they can talk. I hope mom lets me get one. And I would take care of it. But now that I think about it I wouldnt clean it’s cage and would tire of it pretty quickly. So I don’t want a bird. And if BoyCat came home I definetly couldn’t get one. That would be the most expensive treat he ever would get. But he didn’t really get treats, just food & love. I miss him a lot. He hasn’t shown up for 3-5 weeks. Speaking of 3 weeks I’m growing a venus fly trap, but I had to soak it in water for 3 hours and now I have to keep it in the fridge for 3 weeks. It’s been in for 2. I’m also starting a garden. It’s made up of Poppies, Sweat peas, & wildflowers. Plus I’m growing pinto beans in snapple glasses stuffed with domp paper towels. It’s fun. I went out to lunch with Mom & David today. I got a Caesar Salad with croutons soaked in Olive Oil. My favorite part  was the croutons. they were soft, but not soggy. It was the best ever! They were Kinda green like mold, but I ate it anyway. The salad was a little bitter. Last night I made brownies all by myself, they were the best brownies ever. I need to eat some not so excuse me. They are still delicious. Even more so. Yummy Yummy Yummy. If BoyCat aws human he would like them. He has always had a sweet fang. That sounds like a vampire. I vant to suck your high Blood sugar Blood! Do you know why BoyCat left? *Sigh* Too bad. I’m leaving for California on Monday. Guess what? I’m going to Disneyland!!! And I’m flying all by myself! On United or something, I don’t really care. But Disneyland! Isn’t that cool? It’ll my 2nd time. I’m staying at the Jolly Roger, and I told Mom it sounded ghetto but apparently it’s not. Also, Justins birthday is coming up so me & Mom are getting him something. So if you forgot, I just saved your butt! But mom probabley reminded you, or you remembered. How is your job? I hope you at least like them, or else that kinda sucks. I don’t want to ever get a job because there is nothing I like to do other than read and watch movies. I don’t want to be a book editor cause those people can correct their own darn mistakes, & I can’t be a movie critic because then I’ll turn  really fat, like 700 lbs, & will never get an employed husband which is pretty much my only way out. But I don’t want a husband unless I want kids. I’ll probably change my mind later but that’s what I want now. I got married to BoyCat twice. The first time I got all the chairs and put them in rows then filled them with stuffed animals & got married to him. Then we renewed our vows in a bathroom. I was crying cause Mom wouldn’t  come. Well my hands tired so I love you lots and am no longer bored.


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